無言激
Mugongeki
Poems by hide
Translation by w_b

These poems were edited April 6, 2012

Note: the word 'mugongeki' is typically written 無言劇 and means pantomime, or a silent drama. The word 無言, 'mugon' itself means silence, or something silent, mute. The kanji hide used for 'geki' is 激 and is used to indicate something violent. A great agitation perhaps, a rage, something severe, stormy or intense.

You'll notice that Chapters 5 and 6 are missing. Those two chapters are titled "Into the Back Stage" and "On Stage" and contain only photos.

Prologue

I swim in your twin seas
With fingertips, seek me out (1)
Dancing, I am a single thread
Our existence mysterious, it weaves and twines together then comes untied
Let me swim in your twin seas...
Even should I become bait for the minnows (2)

Notes:
1. The verb used in this line can be read as either 'ijiru' or 'masaguru' and I'm pretty certain that this vagueness is deliberate. 'Ijiru' means to tease, to toy or play with something, to finger or to fumble. 'Masaguru' is similar and means to search or feel about for something with your fingertips, or to torment with your fingertips.
2. The word here is 雑魚, 'esa'. It literally means minnows, or tiny fish and I kept that meaning because of the context. However 'esa' can also mean an idiot or a nobody.

Chapter 1
サディストの憂鬱
The Sadist's Depression

I am only at ease within these walls
Icily...smooth
I want to relinquish all to you
Do not send me away from here...
I fear only liberation
Open, hollow, vast and cruel
Do not send me out into such a world...
Inside here, forever...
Snug in a silk cocoon
Let me relinquish it all and sleep...
Ah...I am only at ease within these walls...

Chapter 2
舞枯
Maiko [Death Dance] (1)

Without a moment's hesitation
I now let myself be a piece of meat (2)
The art of blossoming; do I leave it to a future incarnation? (3)
I transform into a creature of physical passions (4)
I fall into pleasure's servitude
Looking back upon myself now, I vomit "life" (5)
Forgive me Moon... Forgive this flesh which meets its end without having made love to you...
Forgive me Earth... Forgive this flesh which decays in your embrace...
Did this body burgeon only so it could bloom...?
Did it burst into bloom only for the petals to scatter...? (6)
It is withering...
It is being drained...
Only this one fluid can make me bewitching again (7)

Notes:
1. The kanji 舞 means to dance, to flit. The word 'maiko' written 舞子 means an apprentice geisha, and 舞妓 is a professional dancer. The title 舞枯 also reads 'maiko' but the second kanji, 枯, means to wither or to die. It is used in the verb 'kareru' which means to wither, to die or to mature with age.
2. The phrase I translated as 'a piece of meat' is 一塊の肉, but there is a bit of a word play going on here. If you take away the 'no' from the original line it gives the phrase 一塊肉, 'ikkai niku'. 'Ikkai niku' is the one, single blood relative who takes over or inherits the family line. So perhaps it wouldn't be too farfetched to read the poem as 'I now follow in my family's footsteps'. Interestingly, there is also the word 肉塊, 'nikkai', which means a human body or a piece of meat.
3. The word used here is 輪廻, 'rinne'. It is the never-ending cycle of reincarnation, the transmigration of souls.
4. Physical passions, 煩悩, 'bonnou', is another Buddhist term. It translates as worldly passions and desires, or the appetites of the flesh. In Buddhism it is known as the klesha, the evil passions. They're polluting thoughts such as greed, hatred, desire, delusion, jealousy, etc. They cloud the mind and lead to suffering.
5. I suspect the "life" mentioned here is either blood or semen...but that is up to everyone's interpretation.
6. The verb 散る, 'chiru', means to scatter and is usually used for flower petals or leaves. However, it can also mean to die a noble death.
7. I believe the fluid being referred to here is blood, especially if you look at the last photos of this chapter.

Chapter 3
俗信仏
Folk Belief in the Buddha

I grant nothing
Demand nothing
You expect nothing
Believe in nothing
I ask nothing of you
Never admonish
You abide by no rules
Show no reverence
I, within myself
You, within yourself
Pray

Chapter 4
双生
Twins (1)

Both pain, and exhaustion too
Simply continue to slip by
Like casual flings they are
While this suffering, it has lasted
Yet, we had tolerated this coexistence until now
Is it normal to suffer?
Is the normal abnormal?
...the time has now come
The moment of parting comes, without us even knowing who leaves whom
You, who were within me?
I, who was within you?
Ah, it does not matter anymore
I know we are friends now
We regret this emotional struggle of ours
For the home we had once shared
We shall cherish its memory
Now both pain, and exhaustion too
Are bygone flings

Note:
1. 双子, 'futago', are human twin siblings. 双生, 'sousei', are twins but not necessarily human siblings.

Chapter 7
自己中心的な静物
Self-Centered Still Life

There will be no compromise
The silhouette carved in relief
Wished for assimilation
A product of its surroundings

Chapter 8
浄化
Purification

Basic emotions
Pervading love
Uncontrollable desires
Oh, how useless they are
It is function which is precious
Day after day, it is the coiled pipes that always yield
It is simple thought
Let me dispose of
Those piles of scrap memories
Today I attain perfection
This flesh has been purified
Of everything... All that remains is...

Chapter 9
鍵
The Key

Here is where I lost it
Here I also found it
In this place which I had neither seen
Nor been to
Once more, here I have come
To lose it?
To find it?