音楽と人 - August 2006
Interview with Sakurai Atsushi
Text by Kanemitsu Hirofumi
Translation: Lola
It's already July and I'm finally getting a talk with you in 2006.
It's been a long time since I've done anything and days just keep going by. The performance at Budoukan last year...seems so far away now.
Hahahahaha.
Because I haven't done anything since around then.
I guess you're becoming anxious to create something *smiles*.
Yeah. After the tour we completed. That tour, for me, was my favourite up till now, I felt as though we really did it thoroughly all the way to the end.
So I guess it's hard to imagine what to do next then.
So I still don't know what would be good to do next in the band. Because of that I thought of maybe doing some solo work again in the meantime but I've already put time into something like that and that's what led me to '13 kai wa gekkou' musically and it made me want to perform with the band again.
So you feel satisfied now with where you are?
Yes I do. When I'm recording, I'm so into it that the world I love to create rapidly becomes my reality......I've felt that way for a long time. I was able to express that visually during the last tour. Even when I've been asked what else I'd like to do for a live I've replied that there's nothing because I was able to really do what I wanted. Because of that people are seized with the feeling that I'm finished. Saying that I'm burnt out.
Like white ash *smiles* (1). But you have a single coming out so doesn't that clearly show that the band is motivated?
Not really......because from the beginning the whole thing has been tied up with an anime (xxx HOLiC). We're just playing nice and cooperating with the record company......
Now you're just being facetious *smiles*.
Because it limits me. When I'm doing something like that I have to think about making it fit into the world of that anime. But because I still don't have a clear image of what I want to do next, doing something like this actually helps.
It's a good opportunity for Buck-Tick to get back into action. But it still seems like you aren't doing anything.
Perhaps so.
But I find this single has dragged the outlook of '13kai wa gekkou' with it.
Yes. But on the other hand, we're already half separated from that world because we didn't necessarily put our strongest feelings into it. And when you look at it properly as a piece, somehow that atmosphere didn't interfere with the song.
What did you think of 'xxxHOLiC' when you read it?
That type of Japanese style goth is something I'm greatly familiar with. It feels nostalgic to me. Of course because I was born in a rural area *smiles*, that sort of traditional Japanese feel seems to fit exactly.
Was it something you thought about doing for a long time in the band? Like did you think that was the direction you wanted to head in next?
Of course it's a feeling we haven't explored yet. And of course I think it's special. But we just tied it up with one single. Already more and more it seems like if we do something clearly then what comes out is what it should be. But I'm still not sure about right now.
Do you think you just want to be allowed to do something simple?
What I do is full of feeling but.......mmm, I don't know if that came across previously *smiles*.
Hahaha. Had you done solo work during this vacation time it would have taken a number of people right?
Yes.
Did you feel like, 'oh never mind, it'll take too long to get everything together'?
No, recently I thought I'd do it again.......
Oh!
I think I'd like to really take my time though. Of course...I'm quite at ease making arrangements within the band. My way of doing things depends on that but my nervousness is so acute that I don't do things. I just end up wailing 'I can't!'. *bitter smile*
You've been on vacation for about half a year now so, do you think having that anxious feeling is good? *smiles*
Yes, yes. I said, 'I wanna go on vaca~tion' but then the moment I can take a break I become restless.
When you're crouched before Don Quijote merely as a witness listening to information it's unlikely that you'll feel nervous isn't it. *smiles*(2)
But I real~ly thought I'd just melt into my town *smiles*.
Absolutely not, no way, impossible.
I began to think that something was wrong though. Well. Even though what I did was different, I thought perhaps it wasn't *wry smile*.
Sakurai-san, you've always had that uncomfortable feeling though since way before.
Yes, I wonder why that is? Why won't those thoughts go away?
Because you keep worrying about them. Can't you concentrate on breaking away from them?
Yes but.......well, only if I'm in the right mood I think.
Have you been able to listen to anything from Lucy and dropz?
Uh..............what's dropz?
Hahahahahaha. That's so telling of your band you know.
Ah, it's what Hide did. But........it feels like, well, how am I supposed to know? *smiles* Well you know, if it's fun for him to do then I'm all for it.
So then you haven't heard what it sounds like yet?
I haven't.
But there's a Lucy live at the end of the week.
I don't plan on going you know. I'm staying home......I'm kind of too shy to go.
Hahaha.
When you see the people you always play with on stage performing in front of you it's....I don't know. Even if I did go I think I'd find it distressing.
*wry smile* I wonder why. Going back to the single, we said it was for an anime but as for the title 'Kagerou-kagerou-', it feels very ephemeral to me.
Yes, just before I was talking about my like for the traditional and because the timing led to it being summer, I kept that in mind. From the height of summer to the end of summer. Then because 'kagerou' is a seasonal word used in haiku for the beginning of autumn I thought it'd be good. It's good because it's not just about the image of the anime nor my own personal views.
What image do you associate with the end of summer?
Ah......it feels like it's the time for our ancestors.
Hahaha, like Buddhist memorial services.
Then at the end of the festival, the evening cicadas begin to trill......I grew up with that.
That sort of peaceful feeling is part of you Sakurai-san.
It's something that I'll always have.......I don't think I'd ever be able to push it away. I've had that sort of feeling before with wanting to go to unknown places, unable to decide where to go I'd end up dizzy and reeling but even now I still do that sometimes.
Even though it looks like you've calmed down.
I think I'll still have this habit ten or twenty years from now.
So when you're a little old man of 60 you'll wander the world.
I'll be on a death journey *bitter smile*.
Hahahaha.
You know I used to go off for three or four days in my car.
You were young when you did that though?
I simply wanted to go see a place I didn't know. Because I hated being where people were. I'm the same as then. Even now it's something I want to do and I can't explain why. But as I age naturally I feel that I have to be where the things that are important to me are, where the things I want to protect are. However that doesn't mean in any way that these old feelings have left. But perhaps that's a good thing now.
(1) I think the interviewer is teasing Sakurai here about some of his song lyrics. In songs like 'Fantasia' with Schwein and 'Maboroshi no Miyako' with B-T there are lines written by Sakurai about burning out like ash and such. There's also a line about ash in 'Dakishimetai' which Sakurai covered during his solo stint.
(2)I found out that Don Quijote is a store in Japan. Click the link to read about its history.